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Sunday, 17 July 2011

07/17/2011

I needed to write some thoughts down so I decided to come back here after another long hiatus. I just quit my job at the hospital and I am waiting to hear back from a job at the power company. Better pay and I'll be able to move back to Fairmont. I'm really hoping that getting back up there to live on my own again will make me feel better. I have had a pretty rough time the last few months... I won't go into all that but those of you who know me know why but maybe weren't aware that it was as bad as it has been. I feel like I need to do something creative but I'm not sure what that something is... maybe I should try writing something again. Sometimes I feel like a lot of the things that I really used to enjoy doing I have kind of given up on or just don't make time to do. As I sit around doing nothing thoughts flow through my mind all the time and I know I have had ideas of good things to write about but I never take the time to put them down on paper or type them up. ---- The night of the storm was the first night I felt it. The small flicker of power burning inside of me dying to be let loose. I knew that the gift was present in our family bloodline but I never understood how it worked. Ever since I was younger we were taught that the gift was bad and that when we started to feel its power that it must be suppressed immediately before it tore us apart. I hated the lessons we had to endure to suppress the power. As I sat up in bed feeling this power I was finding it very hard to understand why anyone would ever want to suppress it. It made me feel so much more alive than I ever had... like I was a part of something bigger... like I could make a difference in the world. I was beginning to talk myself into letting the power flow just a little more when I heard a noise in the hallway. I quickly chanted a suppression spell under my breath as I heard footsteps walking toward my room. The door creaked open and my father poked his head in, " is everything alright son"? he asked. " Yes father, I was just having a dream about Nax leaving again" He walked over to my bedside and put his arm around my shoulder " son... I'm really sorry your friend has to leave for the academy in the fall but there is no need for you to stress over it, he will be back from his summer home tomorrow and you can go spend the day with him and talk about it" he said. " Now try to get back to sleep and I'll see you tomorrow." He patted me on the back and walked back toward the door. " Father" I said. He stopped, " yes son"? he replied.

"Thanks" I smiled and laid back down but sleep did not come easy. I could not stop thinking about the way I felt when the power came to me and wondering how I would resist the temptation to allow it to flow again.

Monday, 23 August 2010

I'm still here

I haven't blogged since I finished college last winter but I thought I would break this thing out again. There have been a lot of changes since I graduated. I tried really hard to find a good job in the Fairmont/Clarksburg/Morgantown area but I just couldn't seem to get any kind of response from any of the places I applied for. So after a few months I finally got to my breaking point with Wal-Mart... I couldn't stand working there anymore and they were cutting my hours really bad so it was getting to the point that I couldn't afford to pay my bills. I took a job with Pepsi working as a merchandiser just so I could get out of Wal-Mart and get a few more hours. When I realized that this wasn't going to help me much with the bills I finally gave in and decided to move back to Buckhannon to live with my parents. Shortly after moving back home I took a job working full time at the local hospital as a registration clerk in the ER. This job is not that bad but my current supervisor is very ignorant when it comes to dealing with her employees... but she is retiring soon so hopefully the new supervisor will be better. So I guess to sum it all up I'm working at a job that doesn't pay as much as what I was making at Wal-Mart but it is full time and I have benefits. On top of all that I am living with my parents so that is saving me money too because I have fewer bills than before. Is this where I saw myself after I graduated? It certainly isn't but I realized a long time ago that sometimes you have to make sacrifices so that you can put yourself into a better position in the long run. If I could find a better job or even a job that pays the same but is full time I would move back to Fairmont in a heartbeat... but for now I'm stuck here and it is really frustrating. I don't know if anyone will even read this but sometimes I feel like if I write things down I can give myself some relief because I feel like there is at least someone out there who is bored enough to read this and care. So here I am, almost a year after I graduated and I still don't feel like I think a college graduate should feel. The only thing I'm feeling right now is frustrated that I can't find a decent job so that I can start knocking out all these loans I've racked up from school. It's almost enough to make you regret going to school. Does anyone else out there feel the same way or am I the only one that is having trouble finding a decent job? Feedback would be appreciated from anyone who reads this. Until next time.... keep walkin' down the road....

Wednesday, 09 December 2009

Race,Class, and Gender Blog #14

This week in class we watched Harold and Kumar go to White Castle in preparation for our final project. As we watched the movie we stopped to look at the different race, class, and gender examples throughout the movie. When I first started this class I thought that it was kind of pointless for us to watch movies all the time, but as the semester went on I've been able to realize the importance of picking out these things in movies because movies and television are where we can find examples of these things the most. I don't think that this will ruin the way I watch movies in the future, but I do think that I will continue to pick up on these things more than I did before this class.
Race,Class, and Gender Blog #13

We all gave our presentations today in class. I think a lot can be taken away from these presentations. It was very interesting to learn more about other races. I learned things that I never knew before. It was also nice to focus on learning about other races instead of just Black vs White like it always seemed to be about growing up. There are other races that are being stereotyped that we should educate ourselves about.
Race,Class, and Gender Blog #12

This week we broke up into groups and were assigned a to do a presentation about a specific race. My group did Hispanic Americans. My part of the presentation was about Mexican Americans. I think these projects allowed us to learn more about other races and find out which stereotypes were realistic and which ones had absolutely no grounds to be included. I believe that the projects were an eye opener for us all. I think that this will help us all realize that stereotypes shouldn't be taken so seriously and that we should get to know someone before we judge them.